Pictures Never Do Her Justice

Pictures Never Do Her Justice

When you’re deciding whether to change by imagining that end result you’re not imagining anything real

You’re imagining a single state, picture, and frame of whatever moment you think you’ll arrive at

And those feelings you generate are based on that single state, picture, and frame of whatever moment you think you’ll arrive at

In other words

Those feelings you generate are not based in reality

Those feelings are based on a static illusion of your mind

Your perceived change isn’t possible to evaluate in this present moment because it doesn’t even exist yet

If it did, then it wouldn’t be change

Would it?

Real change isn’t a single state, picture, and frame of imagination

Real change isn’t something you generate in your mind

Real change is a collection of new decisions, new experiences, and new feelings wholly impossible to fully understand without first taking action toward that change

And action, as I’m sure many of you already know, is one thing you can’t imagine

Because if you could, then it wouldn’t be what’s truly been holding you back all this time

action

You’re Never Wrong When There’s No Right

You’re Never Wrong When There’s No Right

The honest worry about saying all that they mean

The sincere worry more about meaning all that they say  

And the very few genuine are all the happier

Not because of saying, meaning, or doing what “should” be right

But from accepting what they feel, desire, and ultimately perform 

To be the one true matter

always worth their worry

yet never worth your judgement 

Senses Don’t Lie, People Do

Senses Don’t Lie, People Do

When you’re unhappy with someone it’s because of you

Not them

They’re not how you sense, feel, and think

They’re just people

You react with your senses. Your senses create your feelings. And your feelings are what you’re unhappy about

Not them

Actions are amoral until we humans make them not

The problem we all have is needing others to change so we feel better about our own lives

I’m sorry

But change never exists until you first believe it does

Their actions only have effect when you sense, feel, and think differently about them

How else would you know they “changed for the better” if you didn’t?

How else would you know they “made you unhappy” in the first place if you didn’t?

Consciously or not

Your own emotional reaction and personal judgement are the causes of your distress

Not them

It’s not about the if, you

It’s simply about the when, I

I’m sure if you ask those same horrible friends, they’d repeat the same rotten fiction you unknowingly read to yourself every night:

It’s not me. It’s you

The catch, though, is that real change you’ve been seeking only happens when you accept that to be false

Because at that very same moment it then stops being their outer lie

And finally becomes your inner truth

you just have to feel it 

All Gifts Require the Gifted

All Gifts Require the Gifted

There is no future to claim without satisfaction of heart

Or past to wage without certainity of mind

And little presence to welcome without compromise of eye

Yet any man of definite accord possess none the above

For his assurance never draws from what he owned, owns, or will own

But what is freely granted to those he now loves, trusts, and most importantly

respects

A Most Transactional Nature

A Most Transactional Nature

It’s not pride, the patriarchy, or even that incredulous misogyny which prevents men and women from being friends both before and after sex

It’s monogamy

Those explicit promises you initially make to keep someone in your life are, by design, the same unspoken breakups ultimately forcing everyone else out

Relationships seem to be the one thing we sacrifice everything upon only to still leave us at the mercy

Of balancing the very real, immediate, and overlooked loss

From the idealistic, uncertain, and oft-celebrated gain

so many hope, commit, and eventually vow to receive

Magic Isn’t Told, It’s Shown

Magic Isn’t Told, It’s Shown

The difference between goal and progress

one is said, one is done

The difference between destination and direction

one is said, one is done

The difference between ambition and confidence

one is said, one is done

Or

As any magician would say

performed 

Out of Focus

Out of Focus

Men are only men

Women are only women

Men are not women

Special snowflakes are seen under precise, calculated, and engineered conditions

Any difference and unique trait is only visible at this microscopic level

Yet at the same time

Under this very same microscopic level

You not only see they’re made up of the exact same stuff as the next one

But they also possess the exact same inherent properties as the next one

And all adhere to the exact same fundamental tendencies as the next one

Even more

Under naked, everyday human eyes

Those same eyes you use for your friends, family, and self

Snowflakes, special or not, all pretty much look, act, and feel the same

No child ever woke up on Christmas morning for the romantic dream of “finding” a single snowflake to love

They instead appreciate every piece of snow for its own perfectly cold, bittersweet truth

Sometimes fun, imaginative, and beautiful

Equally cruel, unforgiving, and amoral

Almost identical wherever you “find” it or it “finds” you

And always fleeting under warmer conditions

So why would you think your ideal partner is any different?

Because their hidden truth hurts more

than your obvious lie

The Wisdom of Inaction

The Wisdom of Inaction

The most optimistic “believe” good fortune favors blindly

And most pessimistic “think” bad luck bestows selfishly

The truly observant, though, already know real change occurs not when we “want” it

but only when it’s needed the most

They Hurt Because You Haven’t Used Them Before

They Hurt Because You Haven’t Used Them Before

Your alpha mindset is only as good as the mind you operate within

Confidence is relative and so much more than simply “believing in it” to exist

Belief is a concept

Belief is faith

Belief is at the whim of the words at your disposal

You are the gatekeeper to said concept and the subsequent fallacy or truth of its core

That’s why dreaming of confidence is a one way road to insecurity because it isn’t a real thing

The only real thing you need to worry about is how you feel

not what you think

Because personal truth can’t be read or earned

just known

The final catch is, though

You have to close your mouth, cover your ears, and, hardest of all

open your god damn eyes

More Sharks in the Water

More Sharks in the Water

Is a perfect weekend seeing a very tall (*sometimes* nice) old friend Eunice Oh​, partying (PG-rated of course) with current friends, and (what I do best) responsibly going to bed *early enough* every night to still do some Sunday work emails?

Nah…

It’s being able to physically sit down with all said people who always cared about me, then allowing them to fix my life for once because they’re finally using that charming, jerkboy confidence to reveal their true thoughts to this lucky guy here.

And in the end, it’s also rewarding them like any respectable cad would: effortlessly sharing my classic asshole-like, yet agreed upon more charming smile the moment I too accepted that all truly special things in my life were experienced not by my own doing…

But only with the help, love, and support of my closest friends.

===

MISS YOUR SALT AND PEPPER HAIR Bobby Nguyen​. So chic. So old.

Brian Liao​: (well not much can be added that everyone already hasn’t complimented him on)

Hoang VuBryant Fujino​: For helping me learn how to properly ski. Though admit it, I totally crushed the snowstorm this year.

Andy Yang​: 7 years, 6 months, I finally matched the master at drinking.

Steven NguyenDaniel Lee​: Thanks for not yelling me at Hearthstone. You know I’m sensitive about my card games.

Products of Success Not Precursors

Products of Success Not Precursors

But…

I never got the girl like that “other guy”

I never got the job like that “other guy”

I never got the family like that “other guy”

I never got the friends like that “other guy”

If indeed these statements are in fact true

Then I can surely agree you didn’t get what you wanted

Instead

I’ll point out you got something else

your time

And despite what people will ever say

Or show you

also your freedom

To do what?

To do what that “other guy” who “lucked out” never had the ability to do

choose his own life 

so start living yours

Forgetting Your Own Lies

Forgetting Your Own Lies

The only thing finer than reaching an older age with all your family, friends, and health intact

Is that oh too sweet realization that after all these years

You didn’t just become that “guy” you dreamed of

Rather

Your family, friends, and most importantly you

Accept what everyone else already knew

you became better

Thanks Mom and Dad

Steven, Bobby, Daniel, and Andy

Brains Don’t Have Feelings

Brains Don’t Have Feelings

People struggle with the idea of effort because they’re stuck using thought to create action

There’s no such thing as “action caused by thoughtfulness”

There’s just action

No one has to “motivate” their heart into beating or “plan” their immune system to fight the common cold

Just like you don’t “contemplate” the bliss out of ice cream

Your tastebuds do that for you

So when that future does arrive, and of course, I know you think it really will

Try not to spend too much time “figuring it all out” while you’re in the moment

Because you wouldn’t want to take all the “effort” away from what you really “dreamed” of doing

enjoying it

Stories Are for the Blind

Stories Are for the Blind

So what drives you?

Well

That’s just a story they want to hear but never want to believe

I remember

Stories are what children hear to help them fall asleep because they’re afraid of the dark or to be alone

Fantasy substituting reality

Though now that you’re grown up

Isn’t the sound of silence precious?

Then you think about it

Silence is one of the few universal experiences people don’t judge, achieve, or fake

Or appreciate

It’s also a luxury most want to trade, few want to buy

And yet, at this very moment, anyone can own

you just need to stop trying so hard to hear it

You Are Your Worst Backseat Driver

You Are Your Worst Backseat Driver

You may define success as receiving something in the future

In my book, that really means you believe you lack something in the present

Faking it until you make it is just a self-fulfilling prophecy toward endless insecurity

You eat until full. You sleep until rested. It’s okay to believe your life has already met expectations

You’re so foolish to stockpile memories, experiences, and anticipations like canned food

What’s so scary about letting it all go?

Sure, Vienna waits for you

But if your eye is always on the horizon

How would you ever know when you arrive?

Five Senses but a Single Mind

Five Senses but a Single Mind

You don’t fall in love with someone by reading their diary

That’s not them

They’re not paper and ink

That’s you

That’s your perception and replacement of what exists

Trying to understand this world by intellect alone is no different

Ideas, memories, imaginations, and anticipations are nothing more than the energy consumed to create and interpret these fictional mediums

That’s not them

That’s you

Though if you must, think about this:

Without an observer, there’s no knowledge to be taken

And without knowledge, there’s nothing to be learned, gained, or achieved

Except what you can never possess

But only be

reality