Futures are always the moment of today


Waiting for “it to get all better” is our vain attempt to stack the deck against an already known shuffle.

[527 words]

Many in their 20s plan for a few big things

more money

more time

more love

What they fail to understand is their future gain in each of these hinders on today’s troubles not tomorrow’s

They dreamingly estimate how much more would make them happier

But forget that predtictive “better” can only feel good if their source of pain remains the same as now

Though does it ever?

Many in their 30s begin a few common chapters

a new better career or meaningful responsibility at work

a shared marriage

a dependent child or two

All of these are what they wanted in their 20s

And all of them take as much as they provide in your life

You’ll have more time and currency to enjoy from your prouder and more independent lifestyle

But you’ll spend just as much time and currency to maintain said prouder and independent lifestyle

You’ll have more love to enjoy from your desired additions to your family

But you’ll spend just as much loving pain and generous currency to maintain said desired additions to your family

Cliche to admit that everything comes at a cost

And everything gained is the product of reappropriation from some other nearby and often overlooked loss

Many in their youth also forget to notice that they’ve always wanted things at every decade of their life

They wanted future solutions in their pre-teens, teens, 20s, and 30s

They always thought “it’d get better”

It never really does

You just get over what you hate, find new things to hate, and again hope you can swap out this year’s pain for next year’s relief

I don’t think the answer is to want nothing, get everything, and be “happy with what you got”

That’s patching off the emotional collateral damage of life’s volatility by apathetically ignoring the very humanistic traits that make you feel that way in the first place

When you do that you’re still living the same lie as before you just spend even more time, currency, and emotions denying it

That wasteful result is evident within people in their 20s, 30s, and sadly still present until their graves

I think people just need to accept they suck at problem solving their own insecurities and nightly angst

That the hope doesn’t come from solving it years down the line with more security, people, or free time

The hope arrives the very moment you give up that old incredulous false equation to satisfy your existential cry

Because then you’re no longer assuming today is not “it” and tomorrow “will be better”

You’re finally acknowledging “it’s all the exact same”

When there’s no reason at all to dislike what’s behind, in front, or ahead of you

When there’s no reason at all to not just do what you want to do right now

Then there’s suddenly no reason to not wake up and see what you’ve been avoiding all those worthless years of day dreaming for lost alien fiction

A single finite, very emotionally painful, and very pleasurably limited life like anyone else the average

not feeling a tangible “better”

and certainly

not resulting in a feared “worse”