Emotional Atrophy

trainspotting

We all know how to love feeling good but where the hell is advice on how to love feeling bad?

[710 words]

The sources of pleasure we humans have at our daily hands is the primary cause of our evening pains

Visual narrative replaces conversation, drama, and physical curiosity

Audio melody replaces emotional intimacy, unconscious creativity, and unspoken feeling

Recreational drug replaces human novelty, confrontational relief, and deserved reconciliation

We grasp these innovative technological band aids because they’re easy, cheap, and accustomed to our culture

No one questions the validity or efficacy of “taking the edge off” a hard day or allowing someone and something else to make you feel better

But we always—and I mean always—question why we’re stressed, unhappy, or admittedly lacking something new, fresh, and “good” in our lives

It really makes no sense to the common in all of us

At finger’s and dollar’s will we can quickly enjoy the best memories of past and imaginative glory of future

But we always—and I mean always—immediately fall back into our baseline mood within frames of the closing third act

Surpringly I’ve found out the cause of our satisfaction paralysis isn’t tied to what we’re not able to experience, purchase, or feel from another

It’s instead created by the actual things we purposely divert all our time, energy, and sentimental resources toward day in and day out

That because we look forward to these quick injections of creative flairs and even quicker injections of momentary physical ecstasy we end up pushing our now elated baseline well into bleeding levels of red

That because you never struggle for food, entertainment, or novelty, you subsequently and carelessly commit your “good” feelings into an unrealistic realm suitable only for the very same fictional protagonists you believe on your movie screen

The consequence being an incredible dip once your clip finishes

A very unnatural crash equal only to the very unnatural spike you chose to ingest minutes earlier

This is already considered “desensitization”

But I’m not talking about numbness to repeated rapture

I’m just saying by virtue of how people spend their time today they end up never embracing the other end of the moody spectrum: uncomfortable and unpredictable gaps between your previous commitments and future situations

They literally suck at living like what humans evolved from: non-intellectual and non-conceptual “adventures” from sunrise to sunset

This means they suck at seeing plain white in front of them, being bored, and using their brains not for dopamine and sertonin extraction but for surviving in heated times

So they suck at being human

Now some candy once in a while never hurt anyone

But these adults aren’t merely stealing from the cookie jar

They’re stockpiling and rationing every last bit of nuclear sugared napalm until they die

The aftermath result is one who is forever blissed by 21st century convenience, comfortably experiencing the maximum human pleasure at will

And sadly still at the mercy of our very basic ruthless neanderthal stress when the pickup goes dry and power turns off

Which results in a shockingly disproportionate distance between top and bottom

They spend their waking hours obsessing about how to “feel good” for tonight, tomorrow, and their aged futures instead of understanding how to “deal with feeling bad” in this very precise moment

Then as they realize there is a shockingly disproportionate amount of resources, stories, and useful instruction on how to effectively enjoy “feeling bad and normal”

They, like any other human, stick to what worked in the past

And light up again

Now everyone can mention at least one friend who went overboard with the drugs, where they’re practically “always high” and it seems to work

Maybe they’re more “chill” or less “stressed” so we give them that at least and as a proper friending gift we recede from too much judgement on their behalf

Deep down, though, we can’t honestly fathom why they’d require this crutch of excitement to operate today

Well, that just means maybe they prefer feeling better than not

It could also just mean they completely and utterly fucking suck at dealing with the same problems, stresses, and ambiguity everyone else deals with day in and day out

That they’re not expending every last bit of pleasurable mental gymnastics on truly enjoying life for what it’s worth

They’re just expending every last bit of pleasurable mental gymnastics on truly avoiding it