Aside: conflicting compensation

conflicting compensation

everyone is quick to point to another’s pure source of success

their singular talent luck looks or prime ruthlessness

yet by marginalizing their effect by what can only be repeated and spread through written and spoken narrative

you don’t identify why they’ve become who they are

you identify what you personally desperately lack

for how many times have you shared a common privilege with another and had the balls to admit you both only are sitting here because of that privilege?

No we are so god damn good at being individuals and scripting our own favorable histories and forthcoming futures we couldn’t possibly reveal to everyone and ourselves that our own secret sauce wasn’t so secret and wasn’t so tasteful

we love to judge we love to explain and we love to predict

we just hate judging and explaining ourselves

instead we do that to others in hopes of shedding off our own self hatred and jealousy

because if I’m worrying so much of what he has had done or could do

then I simply can’t offer any of my so called precious time and energy toward pointing my one and only tried and true judgemental finger

right back at myself