Free from World’s Truth

Free from World’s Truth

Receiving what you eventually want is no different than what every self-help section, microphone wearing guru, and faded echo of westernized common sense repeats beyond seeming and applicable usefulness.

A simple result of three classic intersections: Your time, someone else’s opportunity, and—to the most equally unfortunate and doubtfully insecure—whatever inherent talent you wish you righteously deserve.

Receiving what you eventually need is, however, not the result of anything at all.

Not the dutiful accumulation of “hard work”, thoughtful purchase of “best selling” printed page, or even logical adoption of “wisdom” from the richest successes of past and present history.

Just the mere change of the one single thing we immediately fixate upon birth, pridefully discard entering adulthood, and yet sadly only discover again minutes before our very own anxious, inevitable, and absolutely necessary death:

perspective

Always Ask Why

Always Ask Why

3 Reasons Why Theo Cheng Is Still Our Best Friend

1) Because his shirts are *still* known to be worth more than your life, we always feel safer knowing muggers will first go for him over us.

2) Because he frequently crashes straight into parked brand new BMWs while in a parking garage and while on his phone, we always feel better knowing at least we’re not the worst driver in the group.

3) Because he’s not ashamed of falling asleep while you’re talking to him at a bar or even strip club, we always feel more mature knowing at least one guy of the group isn’t afraid to show his sincere disapproval of binge drinking and the dirty objectification of women.

But most of all, I’ll admit we’re still friends with Big Teddy C because he’s more than a self-proclaimed “humbly arrogant nice guy”…

He’s OUR self-proclaimed humbly arrogant nice guy.

Something that after all these years, I now finally and proudly hope, never ever changes about him.

We Always Need Rags If We’re to Have Riches

We Always Need Rags If We’re to Have Riches

Sometimes the greatest act of friendship isn’t making the incessantly romantic claim to be the first to hear, first to care, or even first to change

It’s having the foresight, willingness, and humbling respect to be the first to finally let the other person go

Where your relationship is suddenly no longer based on what you have done, will, or could do together

But to what he, or for you few lucky guys, she

can now do without you

Pictures Never Do Her Justice

Pictures Never Do Her Justice

When you’re deciding whether to change by imagining that end result you’re not imagining anything real

You’re imagining a single state, picture, and frame of whatever moment you think you’ll arrive at

And those feelings you generate are based on that single state, picture, and frame of whatever moment you think you’ll arrive at

In other words

Those feelings you generate are not based in reality

Those feelings are based on a static illusion of your mind

Your perceived change isn’t possible to evaluate in this present moment because it doesn’t even exist yet

If it did, then it wouldn’t be change

Would it?

Real change isn’t a single state, picture, and frame of imagination

Real change isn’t something you generate in your mind

Real change is a collection of new decisions, new experiences, and new feelings wholly impossible to fully understand without first taking action toward that change

And action, as I’m sure many of you already know, is one thing you can’t imagine

Because if you could, then it wouldn’t be what’s truly been holding you back all this time

action

You’re Never Wrong When There’s No Right

You’re Never Wrong When There’s No Right

The honest worry about saying all that they mean

The sincere worry more about meaning all that they say  

And the very few genuine are all the happier

Not because of saying, meaning, or doing what “should” be right

But from accepting what they feel, desire, and ultimately perform 

To be the one true matter

always worth their worry

yet never worth your judgement 

Senses Don’t Lie, People Do

Senses Don’t Lie, People Do

When you’re unhappy with someone it’s because of you

Not them

They’re not how you sense, feel, and think

They’re just people

You react with your senses. Your senses create your feelings. And your feelings are what you’re unhappy about

Not them

Actions are amoral until we humans make them not

The problem we all have is needing others to change so we feel better about our own lives

I’m sorry

But change never exists until you first believe it does

Their actions only have effect when you sense, feel, and think differently about them

How else would you know they “changed for the better” if you didn’t?

How else would you know they “made you unhappy” in the first place if you didn’t?

Consciously or not

Your own emotional reaction and personal judgement are the causes of your distress

Not them

It’s not about the if, you

It’s simply about the when, I

I’m sure if you ask those same horrible friends, they’d repeat the same rotten fiction you unknowingly read to yourself every night:

It’s not me. It’s you

The catch, though, is that real change you’ve been seeking only happens when you accept that to be false

Because at that very same moment it then stops being their outer lie

And finally becomes your inner truth

you just have to feel it 

All Gifts Require the Gifted

All Gifts Require the Gifted

There is no future to claim without satisfaction of heart

Or past to wage without certainity of mind

And little presence to welcome without compromise of eye

Yet any man of definite accord possess none the above

For his assurance never draws from what he owned, owns, or will own

But what is freely granted to those he now loves, trusts, and most importantly

respects

A Most Transactional Nature

A Most Transactional Nature

It’s not pride, the patriarchy, or even that incredulous misogyny which prevents men and women from being friends both before and after sex

It’s monogamy

Those explicit promises you initially make to keep someone in your life are, by design, the same unspoken breakups ultimately forcing everyone else out

Relationships seem to be the one thing we sacrifice everything upon only to still leave us at the mercy

Of balancing the very real, immediate, and overlooked loss

From the idealistic, uncertain, and oft-celebrated gain

so many hope, commit, and eventually vow to receive

Magic Isn’t Told, It’s Shown

Magic Isn’t Told, It’s Shown

The difference between goal and progress

one is said, one is done

The difference between destination and direction

one is said, one is done

The difference between ambition and confidence

one is said, one is done

Or

As any magician would say

performed 

Out of Focus

Out of Focus

Men are only men

Women are only women

Men are not women

Special snowflakes are seen under precise, calculated, and engineered conditions

Any difference and unique trait is only visible at this microscopic level

Yet at the same time

Under this very same microscopic level

You not only see they’re made up of the exact same stuff as the next one

But they also possess the exact same inherent properties as the next one

And all adhere to the exact same fundamental tendencies as the next one

Even more

Under naked, everyday human eyes

Those same eyes you use for your friends, family, and self

Snowflakes, special or not, all pretty much look, act, and feel the same

No child ever woke up on Christmas morning for the romantic dream of “finding” a single snowflake to love

They instead appreciate every piece of snow for its own perfectly cold, bittersweet truth

Sometimes fun, imaginative, and beautiful

Equally cruel, unforgiving, and amoral

Almost identical wherever you “find” it or it “finds” you

And always fleeting under warmer conditions

So why would you think your ideal partner is any different?

Because their hidden truth hurts more

than your obvious lie

The Wisdom of Inaction

The Wisdom of Inaction

The most optimistic “believe” good fortune favors blindly

And most pessimistic “think” bad luck bestows selfishly

The truly observant, though, already know real change occurs not when we “want” it

but only when it’s needed the most