They Hurt Because You Haven’t Used Them Before

They Hurt Because You Haven’t Used Them Before

Your alpha mindset is only as good as the mind you operate within

Confidence is relative and so much more than simply “believing in it” to exist

Belief is a concept

Belief is faith

Belief is at the whim of the words at your disposal

You are the gatekeeper to said concept and the subsequent fallacy or truth of its core

That’s why dreaming of confidence is a one way road to insecurity because it isn’t a real thing

The only real thing you need to worry about is how you feel

not what you think

Because personal truth can’t be read or earned

just known

The final catch is, though

You have to close your mouth, cover your ears, and, hardest of all

open your god damn eyes

More Sharks in the Water

More Sharks in the Water

Is a perfect weekend seeing a very tall (*sometimes* nice) old friend Eunice Oh​, partying (PG-rated of course) with current friends, and (what I do best) responsibly going to bed *early enough* every night to still do some Sunday work emails?


It’s being able to physically sit down with all said people who always cared about me, then allowing them to fix my life for once because they’re finally using that charming, jerkboy confidence to reveal their true thoughts to this lucky guy here.

And in the end, it’s also rewarding them like any respectable cad would: effortlessly sharing my classic asshole-like, yet agreed upon more charming smile the moment I too accepted that all truly special things in my life were experienced not by my own doing…

But only with the help, love, and support of my closest friends.


MISS YOUR SALT AND PEPPER HAIR Bobby Nguyen​. So chic. So old.

Brian Liao​: (well not much can be added that everyone already hasn’t complimented him on)

Hoang VuBryant Fujino​: For helping me learn how to properly ski. Though admit it, I totally crushed the snowstorm this year.

Andy Yang​: 7 years, 6 months, I finally matched the master at drinking.

Steven NguyenDaniel Lee​: Thanks for not yelling me at Hearthstone. You know I’m sensitive about my card games.

Products of Success Not Precursors

Products of Success Not Precursors


I never got the girl like that “other guy”

I never got the job like that “other guy”

I never got the family like that “other guy”

I never got the friends like that “other guy”

If indeed these statements are in fact true

Then I can surely agree you didn’t get what you wanted


I’ll point out you got something else

your time

And despite what people will ever say

Or show you

also your freedom

To do what?

To do what that “other guy” who “lucked out” never had the ability to do

choose his own life 

so start living yours

Forgetting Your Own Lies

Forgetting Your Own Lies

The only thing finer than reaching an older age with all your family, friends, and health intact

Is that oh too sweet realization that after all these years

You didn’t just become that “guy” you dreamed of


Your family, friends, and most importantly you

Accept what everyone else already knew

you became better

Thanks Mom and Dad

Steven, Bobby, Daniel, and Andy

Brains Don’t Have Feelings

Brains Don’t Have Feelings

People struggle with the idea of effort because they’re stuck using thought to create action

There’s no such thing as “action caused by thoughtfulness”

There’s just action

No one has to “motivate” their heart into beating or “plan” their immune system to fight the common cold

Just like you don’t “contemplate” the bliss out of ice cream

Your tastebuds do that for you

So when that future does arrive, and of course, I know you think it really will

Try not to spend too much time “figuring it all out” while you’re in the moment

Because you wouldn’t want to take all the “effort” away from what you really “dreamed” of doing

enjoying it

Stories Are for the Blind

Stories Are for the Blind

So what drives you?


That’s just a story they want to hear but never want to believe

I remember

Stories are what children hear to help them fall asleep because they’re afraid of the dark or to be alone

Fantasy substituting reality

Though now that you’re grown up

Isn’t the sound of silence precious?

Then you think about it

Silence is one of the few universal experiences people don’t judge, achieve, or fake

Or appreciate

It’s also a luxury most want to trade, few want to buy

And yet, at this very moment, anyone can own

you just need to stop trying so hard to hear it

You Are Your Worst Backseat Driver

You Are Your Worst Backseat Driver

You may define success as receiving something in the future

In my book, that really means you believe you lack something in the present

Faking it until you make it is just a self-fulfilling prophecy toward endless insecurity

You eat until full. You sleep until rested. It’s okay to believe your life has already met expectations

You’re so foolish to stockpile memories, experiences, and anticipations like canned food

What’s so scary about letting it all go?

Sure, Vienna waits for you

But if your eye is always on the horizon

How would you ever know when you arrive?

Five Senses but a Single Mind

Five Senses but a Single Mind

You don’t fall in love with someone by reading their diary

That’s not them

They’re not paper and ink

That’s you

That’s your perception and replacement of what exists

Trying to understand this world by intellect alone is no different

Ideas, memories, imaginations, and anticipations are nothing more than the energy consumed to create and interpret these fictional mediums

That’s not them

That’s you

Though if you must, think about this:

Without an observer, there’s no knowledge to be taken

And without knowledge, there’s nothing to be learned, gained, or achieved

Except what you can never possess

But only be


Assholes Have the Balls to Say It

Assholes Have the Balls to Say It

You don’t need a better idea

You need a bigger mouth

No one hears meticulous thinking, labored plans, or imaginary futures

Because real people listen to real words

What’s the useless fiction before the fact of decision?


And much like all that crap in your head

they only become reality

when you allow them to

No Bad Deed Goes Unrewarded

No Bad Deed Goes Unrewarded

Any real essence of good is beyond human comprehension

Unfortunately we settle for a linear heuristic which measures the “good” by comparing what remains after subtracting the “bad”

With this mindset your world is perpetually flawed


Because no matter what you do

or who you add

Your end amount will never be anything but less than the whole

We aren’t the cups, half empty or half full, meant to be filled

We’re the water

And water, like you already know,

fills the exact area given to it

Nothing less

and certainly

Nothing more

Words with No Meaning

You’re Not the Dancer, You’re the Dance

The only difference between being alone and being lonely

is the thought you put between the two

There is no difference between being alone and being lonely

until you choose one to exist

So feel your feel

But no one said you had to think about it

so don’t

You Don’t Divorce Your Best Friends

You Don’t Divorce Your Best Friends

True wealth is more than possessing what others can’t afford

It’s owning what others can’t even buy

Much like sexual desire, you cannot negotiate genuine loyalty

What’s better than being first to finish the race and eating your cheese?

Having someone already there

And then realizing they only waited to share it with one person

That being


Brothers from Another Mother

Brothers from Another Mother

Certainty and doubt

Love and loneliness

Success and failure

As you pursue one of these destinations you invite the other along for the ride as well

Don’t believe me?

You only need to check your rear-view mirror

Change is chaos, chaos is change

Any lust that gets you up in the morning is sadly going to be the same hunger that keeps you from falling asleep at night

Having that 1 really means you just cut out the remaining 99

I think it’s time you tried catching the small truths in life instead of swinging for the big changes

When you stop driving in the direction

you’re forced to get out

and wander

toward any direction

I’ve heard people change not for the reasons you give them

But for theirs

So I’ll only ask a question

Why not go to bed a winner?

And while you’re trying to figure it all out

Make sure to not hate it too much

Because, in the end

you may just start enjoying it

Like Most Bad News

Like Most Bad News

Our daily thoughts are made up of too many handpicked, biased re-caps of what already has passed

Even more endless desires and anxious projections of futures that never will come to be

And sadly not enough of what actually is happening at that very precise, certain, and indisputable real moment in time:

your life

They like You, but They Just Don’t Want to Work with You

They like You, but They Just Don’t Want to Work with You

No one has equal access to sex, healthcare, or business in our world

We’re pretty fucking cool with that

I can’t find a reason why you think you’re entitled to any different because you have a vagina

Boring guys get shot down by hotter women every single day just like less attractive women get ignored by better men

I’m sure both the affable beta and unfeminine bookworm are “good” people and would make great parents

But that’s not all that we judge on, right?

So why is it when money replaces sex as the object of exchange, it’s suddenly wrong to reject based on subjective preferences?

Silicon valley is no bastion of perfect hiring and firing decisions either. They fuckup picking the right guys as much as selecting over all the women

Some people, no matter how great you think you are inside, will never see you in the same light

This is known fact

The “patriarchy” isn’t holding you down. They want you to succeed as much as you do yourself. They just want you to do it elsewhere

And that is just an ugly truth they may choose to publicly ignore, just like how you choose to gloss over certain benefits of your gender and feminine youth which the opposite sex does not likewise possess

When polled, the majority of mothers don’t want intense startup-driven, chaotic lives or geeky fame. They want part-time positions. And flexibility. And time for their family

And I’m sure when polled, the majority of valley executives would not want their sexual harassment cases multiplied overnight

Horny socially inept coders can’t cause any trouble if their worst offenses are restrained to harmless porn site fantasies

I wonder, then, if the valley decided to “man up” would women feel any less moral when they realize the same trait they felt put them at a disadvantage earlier is now the driving factor for their newly bestowed, politically-assisted dream jobs:

Their gender

To the sisterhood who can’t live a normal life without trying to build The Next Big Thing

Maybe it’s time you joined the rest of us out there when you realize there are far bigger problems for the public to worry about

And accept something we’ve all heard before

It’s nothing personal, so why can’t we just be friends?


It’s Already Better Than You Think

It’s Already Better Than You Think

Satisfaction comes from selecting your own thoughts over everyone else’s experiences

For any one person’s truth comes not first from what they see but later what they choose to accept

In some ways, your only genuine experiences in this world are how you feel about something

So who’s to say you should let anyone else decide the value of those feelings but you?

Prestige is a hollow quest best burdened for those who love the terminal admiration of complete strangers

For everyone else

Why not instead appreciate the single friend who’s known you since day one

The one who’s sat in your corner with their back to the wall, never throwing in the towel no matter how bad the knife fight

That angry, happy, sad, surprised, disgusted, and often scared key to our lives:

your own mind