The Best Climbs Are Always the Longest

The Best Climbs Are Always the Longest

They tell me the easiest way to gauge the compatibility of a marriage is to find out whether the couple agrees on money, religion, and politics

But I can tell you for friends that live together

It’s how you spend—or don’t spend—your free time

Just like a meaningful career or star-crossed lover

Genuine best friendships are an accidental blessing of worldly luck few have opportunity to welcome

and

even fewer develop the humility to pass through its deepest valleys

Some of My Favorite Moments of 2014

Some of My Favorite Moments of 2014

Imagining life truthfully, pain and pleasure

Living life truthfully under imaginary circumstances

And more often than not, a little bit of both

Though never trying so hard to explain something better left a mystery

Because you should always keep it simple

and above all else

Save a little room to be rude

Misc followup: 

  1. The 2014 mid-point in review: Two Days Short of Six Months

In Not Good Company

In Not Good Company

Who is in Your Scene?

Your heroes on television are not a scene

Your players on that mobile game are not a scene

Your recreational crutches are not a scene

Fictional drama, virtual fun, and the smokey illusion of happiness are not scenes

They’re dreams

How are you wasting your weekends?

it’s never too late to wake up

Misc followup: 

1. Weekends can be productive: What the smartest people do on the weekend is what everyone else will do during the week in ten years

2. Why not spend your weekends with loved ones instead of work? The Week-End Freedom Test

Can You Answer Honestly

Can You Answer Honestly

Are you 100% perfectly comfortable dying alone?

If you really liked who you were, would it be that bad?

Doubt it

The only thing in this world you’re given full control over are your own thoughts

And even more, this means

No one can love you as much as you can love yourself

How can they?

Do they know what you’re truly thinking? And experienced?

What? Do they say that’s narcissistic?

I’m sorry beta male shitlords who are sexually frustrated (and, well, psychologists who also don’t get laid)

But someone loving you is a feeling that only has value once you accept you’re worthy of it

Self-esteem is developed

Not traded between bedsheets

Or swiped over your phone

No doctor

Or lover

Can fix your own feelings

You’re so silly to lust after their love

If you can’t even produce your love

And then, how do you define their love?

Love is an abstract definition

Relative to who, what, and where

And up to you

Why do you chase after someone to validate your existence?

A better choice, be it one that no one can take away, is to

love yourself first

Like all memorable stories

This must start and end with a hero

You

If you don’t believe me, just pinch yourself

See

You already exist fine and goddamn well

Now live with it

She May Call Me

She May Call Me

Obsessive

I say relentless

Compulsive

I follow my gut. A lot

Disorderly

Well

Deep down I always knew I was special

don’t we all? 

It’s easy to blame the traits and habits you believe hold you back

Isn’t it entirely possible

that all this time you’ve just been wielding your sword

 from the wrong end out?

What’s the Only Difference Between

What’s the Only Difference Between

Being good-looking and being attractive?

It’s the amount of effort you put in

Facial symmetry only gets you so far in life

Empty shapes on naked flesh

Unwritten pages to the optically independent

I don’t think anyone ever fell in love because of invisible straight lines

One known truth too bad for them

Yet hopefully

good for you

Slow Your Fucking Roll

Slow Your Fucking Roll

Ask anyone who has lost a loved one

They would sell their soul twice over

If, and only if

they could begin missing who has been gone for so long

instead of only being allowed to remember them

13 years ago Vin Diesel told us all so fast and furiously

It don’t matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning’s winning

Oh Hollywood

Recklessness is a game best suited for losers

Maybe you should check twice

I do not think anyone ever said automobile accidents are cool

So why are you trying to be so cool?

Maybe you should check twice

It may be the last second chance you

or someone else

will ever have

Re-Post from FB

Share Your Mind

fb1
Without getting too sappy

(wait, what’s wrong with that?)

 I have to update and say part of the responsibility of allowing yourself to tear up for others

is saying something to a friend that makes them do the same

Even if it’s from the pain you just inflicted

Truth hurts

I guess that’s why we have love

and hugs 

Do You Play to Win?

Do You Play to Win?

Why is idolizing attractiveness a bad thing? 

“Comic, game, and illustration companies are as much to blame for objectifying women (and in some cases men) … as the fans are,” Alexa Heart, a cosplay artist said. “They’ve made the characters sex objects by giving them overly enhanced chests, tiny waists, and sexy outfits that barely take a yard of material to make a cosplay out of.”

“Of course, I’m uncomfortable with how unrealistic some of the drawings are,” Meredith Simmons, a cosplayer at New York Comic Con who was dressed as Poison Ivy, which happened earlier this month, told me. “But I like wearing this costume anyway, because it makes me feel sexy.”

No, I’m sorry Meredith, but what you see is perfectly realistic

To the best of my memory, I recall

Women do exist who look like them. They’re a dime a dozen in print, videos, and really good films. I don’t know, try Googling them if you’re still unsure.

And Alexa, people value attractiveness, good physical health, and the ability to take care of oneself

That last one is a skill, not a god-given trait

Wait

No, actually all of them are things we can improve if we try

When you’re rallying the troops against comic books that objectify human beings you’re also pointing your finger at everyone else on Earth

Do you also get angered at people who love romantic comedies? Oh my, aren’t they so fake?

We’re all lusting over the same thing—they just had the balls to draw it

I think it’s time you stop projecting your insecurities (onto them) and instead admit (to you):

 You’re just not that good at meeting peoples’ expectations

And that’s fine

But please stop thinking you’re good and they’re bad

Why do you shame others for what they like?

Here’s what isn’t attractive

Crying out of the game like a little child, stomping over the board, and ripping up the rules because you suck at following them

I’m sure you can agree we hate sore losers more than…well…

unrealistic expectations

So, please

If you’re going to continue whining

Do us all a favor

and go to time out

:)

5 Ways Your Life Changes While Working from Home

1. You look forward to waking up the next day

Before, five snoozes and a sprint to the shower. Barely making it to the bus stop on time. Barely awake while stuck in traffic. Tired and cranky because you’re rushed.

It’s a race against the clock.

Now, I wake up within a one hour window, same time every day. It helps mitigate the nights you stay up a little later. You know, because who the hell goes to bed at the same time every night?

I leave the blinds open so natural sunlight helps get me up instead of my alarm. Waking up to light is so much better than an alarm. Try it.

Since you don’t have to go anywhere immediately, you can roll out of bed, drink some coffee, and read the first email. Before you act, you can screw around to wake yourself up, then get back to work. You control your morning.

Love those 30 minute showers you get on the best Saturdays? They’re yours every single day when you’re working from home.

Everyone should look forward to the next day. Not dread it. 

2. You don’t worry about doing work, you care about being effective

Before, a struggle to stay focused when your attention wanes. The struggle after lunch. The struggle at 4PM. More often than not, the struggle at 10AM once the morning jitters wear off. You feel locked at your desk, unable to do anything but sit and stare at what must be done. All throughout the week your personal errands pile up.

You feel like shit.

Now, I follow the rhythms of my body. Short 30-50 minute bursts of activity, then 10 minutes or more of rest. When I need to knuckle down on a task that will take hours, the shelter of your own room is so much more forgiving than a noisy office.

If I feel the need to perform personal business, I go at it without abandon or shame. Need to go to the grocery store? Need to run an errand? Perfect spot to take a break. Work is always there. Kill two birds with one stone.

Ever ask why the hell banks close early on Saturdays and are rarely open on Sunday? Hate missing the day because of an appointment or car repair? Never again when you work from home.

Some tasks are better off in the morning, some in the afternoon, and most right before bed after you had an entire day to think about it.

Creative energy is not linear throughout your day. Why do we traditionally work like it is? 

3. You learn the importance of time to be yourself

Before, act professional, no absurd humor, no crude remarks, no banter, no fun. You’re an employee. You’re someone else’s property.

You spend 8 hours a day being someone you’re not.

Now, I can sit around in my favorite clothes, wait to take a shower until the evening, and talk shit about whatever I want. Repeatedly blast the same song into bleeding levels of red or continually laugh at the dumbest gif off Imgur at breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

No one gives a fuck.

I’m able to express my feelings and thoughts honestly in the comfort of my own home, even if no one else hears me. All that matters is that it’s off my chest.

How often do you get to be honest at a 9-5?

4. You’re more appreciate of times you do socialize

Before, every day I see the same people, same routine, and same social motions. You take the commute, the scenery, and the conversations for granted.

It’s not your choice to interact, it’s your duty as colleague.

Now, I’m not ever really sure when I’ll go into the office. When I do, it’s a blessing in disguise. Because I haven’t seen some co-workers the entire week, I talk. I listen. I smile.

I’m freely choosing to spend my time with them instead of putting on a facade because we’re both shackled to the same office.

You go a few days, a week, even a year, without meaningful social interaction, and you understand it’s best when it’s your choice. And it’s worst when it’s forced.

Socializing is a responsibility that’s best handled when you’re ready for it. 

5. You realize life is beautiful in the afternoons

Ever taken a guilt-free joy ride up north on a Tuesday while everyone else is grabbing their second coffee? Surprised a friend at their work? Called your parents when it was convenient for them instead of you?

Saw a movie by yourself?

Ever done anything in the afternoon on the weekdays other than go out to lunch with your co-workers?

How much of the world we miss because of tradition.

Grimes Speaks the Truth

Talent is Polarizing

A deservedly hypeworthy artist, Grimes, shared advice from a recent Rookie compilation:

“You will never hear more people tell you that you’re wrong than when you’re succeeding.”

“People are judgmental about everything—often because they feel threatened. Ignore them.”

A deservedly hypeworthy anti-feminist, Roosh V, wrote similar sentiments:

“Everyone is hoping that you’ll fail. 

Beta males are hoping. White knights are hoping. Feminists are hoping. Believe it or not, some of your friends and family members are hoping. They want you to fail because your success is their failure. It reminds them of their laziness, their poor work ethic. I’m sorry to tell you that they all want you to fail. Their subtle jabs and withholding of encouragement are aimed to keep you in an inferior station. No one wants to see someone rise at faster speed than themselves.

There is no point in telling other people your goals. They will talk you out of it or give you bad advice. There is no point trying to convince others of your world view. They will plant seeds of doubts that prevent you from action and seeing the truth. The minute you go just slightly higher than you have been, they will try to sabotage you. They are the worrymongers, fearmongers, scaremongers, shamemongers, guilt-trippers, trolls, and haters. Ignore them. Feeding them brings you down to their level, which is exactly what they want.

You’re completely on your own. You don’t need help from anyone. If you can’t reach your goals without the validation and support of other human beings, the bulk of whom I promise are against you, then you don’t deserve to succeed.”

How can a much revered indie artist receive the same amount of hate as a guy who explains how to funnel women for the fastest bangs?

Don’t we want the too-cute-to-be-true-pixie-synth-princess to win?

Shouldn’t good be good and bad be bad?

No

Talent doesn’t care. It’s polarizing. It has no morals, right, or wrong

Talent is blind

Jealousy isn’t, though

Jealousy, unlike talent, is normal

And for some reason, admitting you’re jealous isn’t normal

Normal people get normal results

But who wants to be normal?

they do 

This Was Offensive

The Victim Who Cried Wolf

This is what happens when women get greedy

If a guy doesn’t attract the person he thinks he should do you know what the response is? It’s on the guy to fix things to improve his chances

But when women can’t find romantic success suddenly it’s everyone else’s fault

Blame it on the app, blame it on creepy men, blame it on your race

Blame it on everyone but yourself

How is admitting the fact that physical appearance is something you value in a female considered shallow but wanting a guy to “charm your pants off” isn’t?

Attraction isn’t a choice. You know what is? Getting over your ego and learning how this world works. Beggars can’t be choosers, so maybe these women need to “man up” and approach the person they’re interested in meeting

Put down that phone and well, how do you say it?

connect with someone

All My Friends

james-murphy

All my friends are married. All my friends have moved. All my friends are horrible

Where do I stand now? How can I still fit them in my life?

We’re led to believe these are the choices we must settle upon. The catch is, though, surrendering to merely what’s in front of you puts you at the mercy of exactly that: something or someone in front of you

While your friends may be exactly such, no one ever said you had to accept it

So choose yourself

If you can’t look in the mirror and see the winner, how can you ever expect anyone else to see it either?

Credit: All My Friends

Prescription

Licensed to Fulfill

Failing eyes seek an optometrist. Troubled emotions seek a psychologist. Lost hearts seek an open mind and ear

Have you been playing a little too much patient over doctor in your life?

Maybe it’s time to switch roles. Everyone has a unique prescription of compassion

you just haven’t written it yet

Two Days Short of Six Months

Two Days Short of Six Months

Was all it took. I mean, Leonardo is a tough act to follow and, you know, there’s no need to be prolific—especially when you’re not winning any oscars.

But then again, isn’t there some bit of satisfaction from discovering the irony of trying so hard to maintain creative integrity that you end up giving in to it all not because it finally felt right but because you wanted to?

Surely witnessing calculated responses to periods of vacated performance is no longer something we can avoid. You must have noticed last year was all about crafting the most ambitious vehicle to not only escape from purposeful hiatus but have it cruise effortlessly straight into top form: the luckiest one-night stand ever; the redemption of rom-com abs; the upgraded version of 500 Days of Summer; the final high from Blue Dream; and the boringly great cinematic experience by that guy whose last film was Children of Men.

Yet as Donna Tartt snuck into that very same party by dropping her first novel in over a decade, she would embrace their habit of hoarding the supply to better damn all demand and deconstruct it one layer down, revealing to us what is now the fuss of 2014: the understated return.

By the way some critics view The Goldfinch, Tartt spent all those 11 years recycling simple cliches only the masses still enjoy, scribbled in the form of pedestrian-like prose made suitable for none other than vanilla-eyed adolescents. Those critics, hoping to be struck by lightning and the bottle it came from, probably think films still need to include a complex character arc or avoid being a derivative of what came before to be loved by the highest of the highbrow populace.

If 2013 had you by the balls, addicted to big, heavy-handed rebuttals consuming the pop culture zeitgeist, then 2014 let it all hang loose with the brevity of a quiet acknowledgement that yes, austerity suddenly came into vogue. There’s something downright impressive about the art of dismissing any and all suspicions of being forgotten while also lifting everyone’s expectations one notch higher by way of subtle diligence and, of course, without relying on the exact same plays that fooled us once before.

Don’t believe me? This guy has been doing it for decades. See how that turned out.

So in the mean time—rather, by the way—here are 26 words patently scribbled to make up for all my purposeful yet pedestrian 181 days of leave:

All in life let your own word die
Door hardened by hand
Now hollow through trade
What knock can you field
Heard not one from lie