Love is always our first drug of choice unless it really isn’t.
Love is always our first drug of choice unless it really isn’t.
Songs of joy mean nothing without first hearing one of pain.
Money is already known to burden relationships and health but I’m all for letting you know it limits your daily enjoyment of reality.
Description of the phases of this author’s writing.
Navel gazing, like acting selfish, is usually frowned upon. But if it’s so bad, then why do people think it will make them feel so good?
We all know how to love feeling good but where the hell is advice on how to love feeling bad?
Misplaced hope and blind devotion mature out of highschool crushes into something far more destructive and no one lends the tiniest bit of self-doubt.
Your happiness isn’t a product of thoughtful choice but of finite release.
[411 unedited words]
Receiving what you eventually want is no different than what every self-help section, microphone wearing guru, and faded echo of westernized common sense repeats beyond seeming and applicable usefulness.
A simple result of three classic intersections: Your time, someone else’s opportunity, and—to the most equally unfortunate and doubtfully insecure—whatever inherent talent you wish you righteously deserve.
Receiving what you eventually need is, however, not the result of anything at all.
Not the dutiful accumulation of “hard work”, thoughtful purchase of “best selling” printed page, or even logical adoption of “wisdom” from the richest successes of past and present history.
Just the mere change of the one single thing we immediately fixate upon birth, pridefully discard entering adulthood, and yet sadly only discover again minutes before our very own anxious, inevitable, and absolutely necessary death:
Why “I know” is the only line you’ll ever need.
When you’re unhappy with someone it’s because of you
They’re not how you sense, feel, and think
They’re just people
You react with your senses. Your senses create your feelings. And your feelings are what you’re unhappy about
Actions are amoral until we humans make them not
The problem we all have is needing others to change so we feel better about our own lives
But change never exists until you first believe it does
Their actions only have effect when you sense, feel, and think differently about them
How else would you know they “changed for the better” if you didn’t?
How else would you know they “made you unhappy” in the first place if you didn’t?
Consciously or not
Your own emotional reaction and personal judgement are the causes of your distress
It’s not about the if, you
It’s simply about the when, I
I’m sure if you ask those same horrible friends, they’d repeat the same rotten fiction you unknowingly read to yourself every night:
It’s not me. It’s you
The catch, though, is that real change you’ve been seeking only happens when you accept that to be false
Because at that very same moment it then stops being their outer lie
And finally becomes your inner truth
you just have to feel it
It’s not pride, the patriarchy, or even that incredulous misogyny which prevents men and women from being friends both before and after sex
Those explicit promises you initially make to keep someone in your life are, by design, the same unspoken breakups ultimately forcing everyone else out
Relationships seem to be the one thing we sacrifice everything upon only to still leave us at the mercy
Of balancing the very real, immediate, and overlooked loss
From the idealistic, uncertain, and oft-celebrated gain
so many hope, commit, and eventually vow to receive
Your nightly dreaming may be closer to reality than your waking hours.
Men are only men
Women are only women
Men are not women
Special snowflakes are seen under precise, calculated, and engineered conditions
Any difference and unique trait is only visible at this microscopic level
Yet at the same time
Under this very same microscopic level
You not only see they’re made up of the exact same stuff as the next one
But they also possess the exact same inherent properties as the next one
And all adhere to the exact same fundamental tendencies as the next one
Under naked, everyday human eyes
Those same eyes you use for your friends, family, and self
Snowflakes, special or not, all pretty much look, act, and feel the same
No child ever woke up on Christmas morning for the romantic dream of “finding” a single snowflake to love
They instead appreciate every piece of snow for its own perfectly cold, bittersweet truth
Sometimes fun, imaginative, and beautiful
Equally cruel, unforgiving, and amoral
Almost identical wherever you “find” it or it “finds” you
And always fleeting under warmer conditions
So why would you think your ideal partner is any different?
Because their hidden truth hurts more
than your obvious lie
Is a perfect weekend seeing a very tall (*sometimes* nice) old friend Eunice Oh, partying (PG-rated of course) with current friends, and (what I do best) responsibly going to bed *early enough* every night to still do some Sunday work emails?
It’s being able to physically sit down with all said people who always cared about me, then allowing them to fix my life for once because they’re finally using that charming, jerkboy confidence to reveal their true thoughts to this lucky guy here.
And in the end, it’s also rewarding them like any respectable cad would: effortlessly sharing my classic asshole-like, yet agreed upon more charming smile the moment I too accepted that all truly special things in my life were experienced not by my own doing…
But only with the help, love, and support of my closest friends.
MISS YOUR SALT AND PEPPER HAIR Bobby Nguyen. So chic. So old.
Brian Liao: (well not much can be added that everyone already hasn’t complimented him on)
Andy Yang: 7 years, 6 months, I finally matched the master at drinking.
People struggle with the idea of effort because they’re stuck using thought to create action
There’s no such thing as “action caused by thoughtfulness”
There’s just action
No one has to “motivate” their heart into beating or “plan” their immune system to fight the common cold
Just like you don’t “contemplate” the bliss out of ice cream
Your tastebuds do that for you
So when that future does arrive, and of course, I know you think it really will
Try not to spend too much time “figuring it all out” while you’re in the moment
Because you wouldn’t want to take all the “effort” away from what you really “dreamed” of doing
The only difference between being alone and being lonely
is the thought you put between the two
There is no difference between being alone and being lonely
until you choose one to exist
So feel your feel
But no one said you had to think about it
“Comic, game, and illustration companies are as much to blame for objectifying women (and in some cases men) … as the fans are,” Alexa Heart, a cosplay artist said. “They’ve made the characters sex objects by giving them overly enhanced chests, tiny waists, and sexy outfits that barely take a yard of material to make a cosplay out of.”
“Of course, I’m uncomfortable with how unrealistic some of the drawings are,” Meredith Simmons, a cosplayer at New York Comic Con who was dressed as Poison Ivy, which happened earlier this month, told me. “But I like wearing this costume anyway, because it makes me feel sexy.”
No, I’m sorry Meredith, but what you see is perfectly realistic
To the best of my memory, I recall
And Alexa, people value attractiveness, good physical health, and the ability to take care of oneself
That last one is a skill, not a god-given trait
No, actually all of them are things we can improve if we try
When you’re rallying the troops against comic books that objectify human beings you’re also pointing your finger at everyone else on Earth
Do you also get angered at people who love romantic comedies? Oh my, aren’t they so fake?
We’re all lusting over the same thing—they just had the balls to draw it
I think it’s time you stop projecting your insecurities (onto them) and instead admit (to you):
You’re just not that good at meeting peoples’ expectations
And that’s fine
But please stop thinking you’re good and they’re bad
Why do you shame others for what they like?
Here’s what isn’t attractive
Crying out of the game like a little child, stomping over the board, and ripping up the rules because you suck at following them
I’m sure you can agree we hate sore losers more than…well…
If you’re going to continue whining
Do us all a favor
and go to time out
Was all it took. I mean, Leonardo is a tough act to follow and, you know, there’s no need to be prolific—especially when you’re not winning any oscars.
But then again, isn’t there some bit of satisfaction from discovering the irony of trying so hard to maintain creative integrity that you end up giving in to it all not because it finally felt right but because you wanted to?
Surely witnessing calculated responses to periods of vacated performance is no longer something we can avoid. You must have noticed last year was all about crafting the most ambitious vehicle to not only escape from purposeful hiatus but have it cruise effortlessly straight into top form: the luckiest one-night stand ever; the redemption of rom-com abs; the upgraded version of 500 Days of Summer; the final high from Blue Dream; and the boringly great cinematic experience by that guy whose last film was Children of Men.
Yet as Donna Tartt snuck into that very same party by dropping her first novel in over a decade, she would embrace their habit of hoarding the supply to better damn all demand and deconstruct it one layer down, revealing to us what is now the fuss of 2014: the understated return.
By the way some critics view The Goldfinch, Tartt spent all those 11 years recycling simple cliches only the masses still enjoy, scribbled in the form of pedestrian-like prose made suitable for none other than vanilla-eyed adolescents. Those critics, hoping to be struck by lightning and the bottle it came from, probably think films still need to include a complex character arc or avoid being a derivative of what came before to be loved by the highest of the highbrow populace.
If 2013 had you by the balls, addicted to big, heavy-handed rebuttals consuming the pop culture zeitgeist, then 2014 let it all hang loose with the brevity of a quiet acknowledgement that yes, austerity suddenly came into vogue. There’s something downright impressive about the art of dismissing any and all suspicions of being forgotten while also lifting everyone’s expectations one notch higher by way of subtle diligence and, of course, without relying on the exact same plays that fooled us once before.
So in the mean time—rather, by the way—here are 26 words patently scribbled to make up for all my purposeful yet pedestrian 181 days of leave:
All in life let your own word die
Door hardened by hand
Now hollow through trade
What knock can you field
Heard not one from lie
His experiences do.
An introduction I wrote for a collection of stories about how a few men chose to grow up not out of responsibility but from their own poignant discovery.