Free from World’s Truth

Free from World’s Truth

Receiving what you eventually want is no different than what every self-help section, microphone wearing guru, and faded echo of westernized common sense repeats beyond seeming and applicable usefulness.

A simple result of three classic intersections: Your time, someone else’s opportunity, and—to the most equally unfortunate and doubtfully insecure—whatever inherent talent you wish you righteously deserve.

Receiving what you eventually need is, however, not the result of anything at all.

Not the dutiful accumulation of “hard work”, thoughtful purchase of “best selling” printed page, or even logical adoption of “wisdom” from the richest successes of past and present history.

Just the mere change of the one single thing we immediately fixate upon birth, pridefully discard entering adulthood, and yet sadly only discover again minutes before our very own anxious, inevitable, and absolutely necessary death:

perspective

Senses Don’t Lie, People Do

Senses Don’t Lie, People Do

When you’re unhappy with someone it’s because of you

Not them

They’re not how you sense, feel, and think

They’re just people

You react with your senses. Your senses create your feelings. And your feelings are what you’re unhappy about

Not them

Actions are amoral until we humans make them not

The problem we all have is needing others to change so we feel better about our own lives

I’m sorry

But change never exists until you first believe it does

Their actions only have effect when you sense, feel, and think differently about them

How else would you know they “changed for the better” if you didn’t?

How else would you know they “made you unhappy” in the first place if you didn’t?

Consciously or not

Your own emotional reaction and personal judgement are the causes of your distress

Not them

It’s not about the if, you

It’s simply about the when, I

I’m sure if you ask those same horrible friends, they’d repeat the same rotten fiction you unknowingly read to yourself every night:

It’s not me. It’s you

The catch, though, is that real change you’ve been seeking only happens when you accept that to be false

Because at that very same moment it then stops being their outer lie

And finally becomes your inner truth

you just have to feel it 

A Most Transactional Nature

A Most Transactional Nature

It’s not pride, the patriarchy, or even that incredulous misogyny which prevents men and women from being friends both before and after sex

It’s monogamy

Those explicit promises you initially make to keep someone in your life are, by design, the same unspoken breakups ultimately forcing everyone else out

Relationships seem to be the one thing we sacrifice everything upon only to still leave us at the mercy

Of balancing the very real, immediate, and overlooked loss

From the idealistic, uncertain, and oft-celebrated gain

so many hope, commit, and eventually vow to receive

Out of Focus

Out of Focus

Men are only men

Women are only women

Men are not women

Special snowflakes are seen under precise, calculated, and engineered conditions

Any difference and unique trait is only visible at this microscopic level

Yet at the same time

Under this very same microscopic level

You not only see they’re made up of the exact same stuff as the next one

But they also possess the exact same inherent properties as the next one

And all adhere to the exact same fundamental tendencies as the next one

Even more

Under naked, everyday human eyes

Those same eyes you use for your friends, family, and self

Snowflakes, special or not, all pretty much look, act, and feel the same

No child ever woke up on Christmas morning for the romantic dream of “finding” a single snowflake to love

They instead appreciate every piece of snow for its own perfectly cold, bittersweet truth

Sometimes fun, imaginative, and beautiful

Equally cruel, unforgiving, and amoral

Almost identical wherever you “find” it or it “finds” you

And always fleeting under warmer conditions

So why would you think your ideal partner is any different?

Because their hidden truth hurts more

than your obvious lie

More Sharks in the Water

More Sharks in the Water

Is a perfect weekend seeing a very tall (*sometimes* nice) old friend Eunice Oh​, partying (PG-rated of course) with current friends, and (what I do best) responsibly going to bed *early enough* every night to still do some Sunday work emails?

Nah…

It’s being able to physically sit down with all said people who always cared about me, then allowing them to fix my life for once because they’re finally using that charming, jerkboy confidence to reveal their true thoughts to this lucky guy here.

And in the end, it’s also rewarding them like any respectable cad would: effortlessly sharing my classic asshole-like, yet agreed upon more charming smile the moment I too accepted that all truly special things in my life were experienced not by my own doing…

But only with the help, love, and support of my closest friends.

===

MISS YOUR SALT AND PEPPER HAIR Bobby Nguyen​. So chic. So old.

Brian Liao​: (well not much can be added that everyone already hasn’t complimented him on)

Hoang VuBryant Fujino​: For helping me learn how to properly ski. Though admit it, I totally crushed the snowstorm this year.

Andy Yang​: 7 years, 6 months, I finally matched the master at drinking.

Steven NguyenDaniel Lee​: Thanks for not yelling me at Hearthstone. You know I’m sensitive about my card games.

Brains Don’t Have Feelings

Brains Don’t Have Feelings

People struggle with the idea of effort because they’re stuck using thought to create action

There’s no such thing as “action caused by thoughtfulness”

There’s just action

No one has to “motivate” their heart into beating or “plan” their immune system to fight the common cold

Just like you don’t “contemplate” the bliss out of ice cream

Your tastebuds do that for you

So when that future does arrive, and of course, I know you think it really will

Try not to spend too much time “figuring it all out” while you’re in the moment

Because you wouldn’t want to take all the “effort” away from what you really “dreamed” of doing

enjoying it

Words with No Meaning

You’re Not the Dancer, You’re the Dance

The only difference between being alone and being lonely

is the thought you put between the two

There is no difference between being alone and being lonely

until you choose one to exist

So feel your feel

But no one said you had to think about it

so don’t

Do You Play to Win?

Do You Play to Win?

Why is idolizing attractiveness a bad thing? 

“Comic, game, and illustration companies are as much to blame for objectifying women (and in some cases men) … as the fans are,” Alexa Heart, a cosplay artist said. “They’ve made the characters sex objects by giving them overly enhanced chests, tiny waists, and sexy outfits that barely take a yard of material to make a cosplay out of.”

“Of course, I’m uncomfortable with how unrealistic some of the drawings are,” Meredith Simmons, a cosplayer at New York Comic Con who was dressed as Poison Ivy, which happened earlier this month, told me. “But I like wearing this costume anyway, because it makes me feel sexy.”

No, I’m sorry Meredith, but what you see is perfectly realistic

To the best of my memory, I recall

Women do exist who look like them. They’re a dime a dozen in print, videos, and really good films. I don’t know, try Googling them if you’re still unsure.

And Alexa, people value attractiveness, good physical health, and the ability to take care of oneself

That last one is a skill, not a god-given trait

Wait

No, actually all of them are things we can improve if we try

When you’re rallying the troops against comic books that objectify human beings you’re also pointing your finger at everyone else on Earth

Do you also get angered at people who love romantic comedies? Oh my, aren’t they so fake?

We’re all lusting over the same thing—they just had the balls to draw it

I think it’s time you stop projecting your insecurities (onto them) and instead admit (to you):

 You’re just not that good at meeting peoples’ expectations

And that’s fine

But please stop thinking you’re good and they’re bad

Why do you shame others for what they like?

Here’s what isn’t attractive

Crying out of the game like a little child, stomping over the board, and ripping up the rules because you suck at following them

I’m sure you can agree we hate sore losers more than…well…

unrealistic expectations

So, please

If you’re going to continue whining

Do us all a favor

and go to time out

:)